"Girls are caterpillars while they live in the world, to be finally butterflies when the summer comes." This is a quote from J. Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, my namesake, and one that I treasure dearly. It's also extremely apt for me as a transgender woman, since today—the 24th of July—marks my thirteenth day of hormone replacement therapy! Some people will forever associate the 11th, "7/11," with hot weather and free slushies. For me, it was the first day of the rest of my life.
It's not the only transition I'm undergoing, either. June marked the amicable and mutual conclusion of a three-and-a-half year, long distance relationship (though with someone unquestionably still considered my best friend) and the beginning of my research and work on my master's thesis, a project due in Spring that will herald my graduation at last. It may sound strange, but you can read more about it in my latest feature for Fanbyte, "Why Banjo-Tooie is a True Adventure," in which the process of exhausting an old video game gave me the opportunity to reflect on what it really means to complete something, to end one chapter in life and begin another. My latest piece on my own site, of course, is still "The Hands of L'Argent."
As for the usual plugs, new visitors to the site can follow me on Twitter where most of my virtual shouting goes, and fans of my work can tip me a few dollars via Ko-Fi. Doing so will put you on the Wall of Gratitude on my Contact page, and honor currently enjoyed by two very generous and talented individuals. Check out their art as well, while you're here.
Summer is finally here, which means a lot of things. It means that I've turned another year over, I have some time off from graduate school, and the weather is going to be pleasant for about two weeks before getting unbearably hot. It also means that I can finally start tackling all that I've put off until I'm on summer break from class: films I need to catch-up on, books I need to read, pieces I need to write, that sort of thing. I'll also be trying to begin hormone replacement therapy of some kind by the season's end, so...we'll see how that goes.
Anyway, there is one thing I've done that I can at least share with the site now. For my most recent graduate class I had to get elbow-deep into the filmography of Robert Bresson. I was largely unimpressed but with one very notable exception: L'Argent. You can find my thoughts on the film, and a photo gallery of its most evocative shots, in my latest piece in the Misc. section: "The Hands of L'Argent".
If this is your first time visiting the site, know that you can follow me on Twitter for alarmingly frequent updates from myself, and if you enjoy my work then you can spare me a dollar or two and be the first name etched into the Wall of Gratitude on my Contact page.
You know, I was originally planning on launching this website publicly on my birthday next month, but once I got the pictures back from my photoshoot and had everything in place I just couldn't wait. So here we are—I'm Carmilla. Cool to meet you.
Over the last few months I've begun Writing For The Internet, and while it's very nice and all, it's so disorganized. The internet is a big place! You can get lost! But now that I have my own website, all of my work is conveniently linked to in one place (see Features). Additionally, I can start hosting my own writing independently. You'll find that the opening attraction is a historical survey of hunchbacked assistants in adaptations of Frankenstein, an updated version of some personal research done long ago.
I'm excited to write fiction (eventually), but for now you can also explore the Misc. section for some of my assorted projects or just get to know me better. As you poke around, keep in mind that I had to code this entire website myself, learning HTML in the process. I'm no expert, so if you find anything weird or wrong, or if you have any feedback on the site itself, feel free to contact me. First on the agenda for further coding is some kind of "Light Mode" in case the dark background is hard on anyone's eyes.
I'll update this site whenever I have more writing to add to it, so if you want to just get an unfiltered and ceaseless look into my daily stream of consciousness, follow me on Twitter. Oh, and if you like what you see, you can spare me a dollar or two and be the first name etched into this website's forthcoming Wall of Gratitude.
If you've come across this site in its current state, pardon the dust. It's still under construction, as it has been for ages now, but generally I find the time to chip away a little more at it at least once per week. It's in the final phases now: not a lot of content left to write, just a lot to organize and facilitate. But soon, very soon, it'll be "live."
In the meantime, there is some interesting work here. Check out the Nonfiction section for my latest work, a revised version of an old essay I once wrote on the hunchbacked stock character of "Igor." In the Misc. section you'll find some of my various projects and next door a collection of Features I've written for other websites. The "Contact" link is still a placeholder, so if you really do like what you see and would like to reach out, find me on Twitter. And stay tuned. I'm very excited to get this place up and running.